Honor of Providing Care

One night a phone call came to inform me that the husband of a long time Advocate associate had suddenly died. I have known this employee for over 20 years and worked with her, side by side on numerous occasions. She and her now late husband attended my wedding less the 2 years ago. I was shocked, distraught and left unable to sleep by the news.

As my husband and I lay in bed after the call, we stared at each other and hugged each other, not really sure of how to take or react to this tragic news. Her husband was similar in age to us. We thought “too young to die.” All we could think of was how can anyone come to terms with such a loss.

After a long silence, my husband, in the darkness, asked me a question. “If you knew you only had one day to live, how would you spend it?” I paused and thought. I answered. “ I would spend it with our family laughing, crying and talking about life, love and things that mattered. I’d take them with me to places that mattered. I’d share as much as I could and tell them how much they mattered and how much I loved them.”

I turned to my husband and asked “ how about you?” “ My answer is very similar to yours.” He went on and enumerated who he would spend time with and how. Then he added, “One thing I’m sure of, is that I wouldn’t be going to work.” I chimed in “I guess I wouldn’t either.”

Silently lying there, I began to think even more deeply. I asked myself, “ How do I know this is not my last day?” And how, in spite of not knowing the answer, can I get up and go to the hospital every day? Was I wasting my precious time going to work each day?

This came as a very tough question.
Again after thinking for an even longer time, I realized that I would probably never know when my last day was coming, so yes I need to treasure each day, but is there is something more?

Another answer then came. We and all our colleagues that work in health care, have a special gift outside of ourselves to share. By doing what we do, we can make big differences in the lives of people. Differences that help then live longer, safer and healthier. This translated into more time for them to spend with people that matter to them. This special space in which we work is a sacred space that enriches our own lives and gives us a special sense of peace. If we hold on to this we have the strength to see beyond human tragedy to greater success.

So I realized that yes I should hug my family harder and longer. I should listen to them more alertly and be more responsive to their needs and they to mine, but not forget or neglect the wonderful role we play in healthcare and go with it.